Fine. I'll sleep in my office
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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