i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
