My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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