I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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