WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
