6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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