Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
