so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
