just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
