I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We talked him into tasing himself.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize