Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I will pee on everything he values.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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