I feel like abortions should bother me more
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
