She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
