would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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