That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
