i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
