"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
this must be what syphilis tastes like
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
