it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
