He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The uberlube is also flammable
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
