After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
