You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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