***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize