batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
