I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
