I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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