i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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