I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
