you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize