i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
