so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
