I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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