one might say we're banned from that church
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
