flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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