just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
