do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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