Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
