i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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