she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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