i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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