i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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