Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
