You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize