the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
