check it out our google latitudes are spooning
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
