i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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