i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
