We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I understand Curling. That high.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
