New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
