Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
