I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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