Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
