Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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