i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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