I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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