dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My bed smells like the plague
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
