i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
