my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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