just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
