he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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