Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
